Quarter-Life Crisis Birthday Card
Regular price
$4.99
Regular price
Sale price
$4.99
Unit price
per
In stock
5"×7" Premium Greeting Card
The size you actually expect when ordering a card.
Free Shipping
All US orders
Guaranteed
Love it or return it
Premium Quality
Thick cardstock
Ships Fast
Ships within 1 business day
Tree Planted
For every card sold
Carbon Neutral
Printing and shipping
Spend More, Save More
$20
Get 1 Free Card
$40
Get 2 Free Cards
POPULAR
$60
Get 4 Free Cards + Priority Shipping
$20
Get 1 Free Card
Add any card to your cart and it'll be marked free automatically
$40
Get 2 Free Cards
Two cards marked free + free shipping
$50
Free Priority Shipping
Upgrade to USPS Priority shipping at no cost
POPULAR
$60
Get 4 Free Cards + Priority
4 free cards + free Priority Shipping
$80
Get 6 Free Cards
6 free cards + Priority Shipping
BEST VALUE
$100
10% Off Everything
10% off + 6 free cards + Priority Shipping
$150
15% Off Everything
15% off + 6 free cards + Priority Shipping
LEGEND
$200
20% Off Everything
20% off + 6 free cards + Priority Shipping
How it works: No promo codes needed! Benefits apply automatically when you hit spending thresholds. Just add items to your cart.
*Applies to standard greeting cards only. Gift cards and print-on-demand items excluded from cart totals.
100% Satisfaction Promise
Not happy? We'll make it right! Or if you prefer, we have 30 day returns.
Perfect for
Cards That Don't Suck™
Tired of ordering cards online and being surprised by a tiny, flimsy card? Our cards don't disappoint.
🔍 Card Details
Size
5"×7" (standard greeting card)
Dimensions (mm)
127.0mm × 177.8mm
Paper Weight
352gsm premium cardstock
Thickness
16pt cardstock
Finish
Uncoated, slightly textured
✍️ Writing Experience
Writeability
Excellent - no pen skipping
Show-through
Minimal bleed-through
Surface
Slightly rough, tactile feel
Archival Quality
Acid-free, long-life
📮 Envelope Details
Included
Matching envelope
Paper Weight
118gsm
Color
Brilliant white
Flap Style
Square flap
Recycled Content
30% post-consumer waste
🌍 Sustainability
Carbon Impact
Printed carbon-neutral
Environmental Initiative
🌱 1 tree planted per card
Printing Process
Waterless, eco-friendly inks
Certifications
FSC-Certified materials
🇺🇸 Made in USA
Designed
Troy, NY
Printed
United States
Packaging
Plastic-free, USA-made boxes
Processing Time
Ships in 1 business day
I guess it's time to try a weighted blanket.
This relatable card is perfect for twenty-somethings, young professionals, or anyone navigating the existential chaos of early adulthood (AKA the most brutal choose your own adventure story).
- 5"x7" greeting card (standard size)
- Printed on premium 352gsm cardstock
- Comes with matching envelope
- Excellent writeability, minimal show-through
- Designed with pride in Troy, NY
- Tree planted for every card sold
Notified by email when this product becomes available
Quarter-Life Crisis Birthday Card